Monday, September 19, 2011

The book of Cleanliness

It's laundry day! Time to consult the Book of Cleanliness.

Cleanliness, chapter two, verses nine through twenty-one:
"And Saint Domesticus raised the Holy Washer of Whirlpool up on high, saying, "O Lord, bless this thy Holy Washer, that with it thou mayst wash thine laundry to its cleanest, in thy mercy." And the Lord did grin. And the people did wash the shirts and shorts and swim trunks and towels, and pajama pants and under-garments, and socks and thermal we..."

Skipping a bit. . .

"And the Lord spake saying, 'First, shalt thou close the Holy Washer Door. Then shalt thou set it to normal, no more, no less. Normal shall be the setting thou shalt select, and the setting of the selection shall be normal. Permanent Press thou shalt not select, neither select thou quick wash, excepting that thou then proceed to normal. Heavy Duty is right out! Once the setting normal, being the third setting, be reached, then activatest thou thy Holy Washer of Whirlpool containing thy soiled clothing, who, being filthy in my sight, shall snuff it.'"


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